Ugly Ugly Echo

October 1, 2006 by ignatiof.

I like cars. Cars are very cool. They come in many colours.

Alright, enough reciting from my grade 6 essay. Yesterday’s topic was meat. Today’s topic is the meat of the highway - the automobile. I thought about doing one of those top 10 lists that are so popular among bloggers these days, but I’m too damn lazy to think of 10 cars that fit in a single category. (By the way my chosen category is ugly cars.)

So here’s a bunch of cars that are ugly. I’m not one of those blogger or journalists wimp afraid to state my opinions and giving them to you in alphabetical order. So here they are in random order.

1. The Toyota Echo

Talk about homely. The sedan is slightly nicer but this hatchback version is a dog. Glad they discontinued it. Someone should hunt down the rest of these ugly things and beat ‘em up with a sledgehammer. That would be much more pleasing to the eye.

2. The Honda Element

For some reason my foolish brother thinks this is actually attractive. He’s swooned over it like a pimple-faced teenager to a cheerleader at a school dance. Fortunately, he never did get it.

3. The Oldsmobile Alero

I don’t know what’s uglier - the Alero in coupe form or in sedan form. Neither is too pretty, and with the fact that you can get an equivalent Malibu or something else with a much nicer outer shell, it’s anyone’s guess how this thing sold. Heavy discounts I suppose. One would hope they didn’t sell to the blind driver market.

4. The Pontiac Aztek

The car with the dubious distinction of being the ugliest vehicle ever produced (and by far), the Aztek is so ugly that no words can possibly describe it. No car even exists that is as beautiful as the Aztek is hideous. It’s really that bad. Oddly enough the Buick Rendezvous is the same vehicle mechanically but is actually attractive. How the designer (and by designers I mean the 4-year olds hired by GM), were able to pack so much ugly into so small a space is a question only the gods can answer. Needless to say if you took a bucket of paint and splashed it against a concrete wall you’d get something nicer.

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