December 31, 2006 by ignatiof.

Here they are, looking way back…

2005: Rilo Kiley - Portions For Foxes
2004: Joss Stone - Super Duper Love
2003: Evanescence - Going Under
2002: The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
2001: Weezer - Hash Pipe
2000: Chantal Kreviazuk - Far Away
1999: Len - Feelin’ Alright
1998: Bran Van 3000 - Everywhere
1997: No Doubt - Sunday Morning
1996: Cowboy Junkies - A Common Disaster
1995: The Cranberries - Zombie
1994: Ace of Base - The Sign
1993: Patty Smyth - No Mistakes
1992: INXS - Heaven Sent
1991: Queensryche - Silent Lucidity
1990: Lisa Stansfield - All Around The World
1989: Madonna - Like A Prayer
1988: Midnight Oil - Beds Are Burning

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December 31, 2006 by ignatiof.

It’s that time again! Time to announce the 2006 Earlie Award winner!

There’s only one category, so let’s get to it. Here are the three top songs for the year:

3. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California (A great tune… yeah, that’s about it)

2. The Charlatans - Blackened Blue Eyes (Back with a new album, the formerly named ‘Charlatans UK’ record one of their best ever)

1. Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous (Song of the year, I’m almost embarassed to say I like this one, but there it is. Bubble-gummie delicious.)

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December 31, 2006 by ignatiof.

At 1:06 AM NDT, Sunday December 31st, Mr. Jar was sedated and surgery began. As you can see in the photo below, a general anaesthetic was given by needle injection near the site of the imperfection. Mr. Jar was not scared entering surgery, nor was he upset or trembling. His future is now in the hands of a group of highly skilled peanut butter dermatologist-surgeons…

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December 27, 2006 by ignatiof.

Dear Mom,

Here I am in Corner Brook. My kitty cat survived the journey, but most importantly I managed to put up with my fiance for 7 hours in the car together. However, there’s only one problem.

I didn’t bring enough kitty litter.

The sister-in-law-to-be has a cat as well, but her litter is the non-clumping kind. Now we have the clumping kind, and you know what happens when you mix clumping and non-clumping litter. That’s right, you destroy the known universe. I’d prefer to avoid that, at least until I get my next paycheque.

I guess it’s a Christmas eve trip to the Walmart for me…

Your son,
Ignatio

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December 27, 2006 by ignatiof.

Seeing as how this is the season of commercialism and buying stuff, I wanna talk about some of the best ‘bang-for-the-buck’ deals I’ve ever gotten. I’m talking about things that were very useful, fun, practical, etc., for the price, not stuff that was just a good deal, but wasn’t terribly useful. So here goes:

1. The cat’s Litter Locker. $25, and so fantastic. It’s easy to use, captures the smell, and it’s much tidier than the alternatives.
2. My laptop. Yes it was expensive, but in terms of hours per dollar, or dollars per hour of use, it’s been quite the bargain.
3. My TV. Once again, expensive, but it’s almost 6 years old and has gotten plenty of use.

There’s other small stuff too… like a potato peeler. Perhaps I’ll have to do up a spreadsheet, and add this to my Huge Database of Worthless Information, yes, my HDWI.

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December 27, 2006 by ignatiof.

What would happen if you piled up all of this year’s Christmas gifts from everywhere in the world into one big pile? I can think of three things. First, the gifts on the bottom of the pile would probably be crushed beyond recognition. I suggest we put all the TMX Elmo dolls on the bottom. Second, kids all over the world would be sad that they got nothing for Christmas, and many would stop believing in Santa Claus, and become disillusioned and bitter as they became adults. Third, the pile would probably reach pretty high and airplanes would probably crash into it. The resulting jet fuel would light the pile afire, and it would burn to the ground, releasing toxic chemicals and greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere. The greenhouse gasses would raise the temperature  of the entire planet, causing the polar ice caps to melt, raising the sea level and flooding cities like New Orleans, Los Angeles, New York, and probably some non-American cities as well. Now onto the logistics of getting all these gifts into one spot. We’d need some sort of anti-Santa…

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December 16, 2006 by ignatiof.

Wait til June

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December 15, 2006 by ignatiof.

I’m glad I started the season off with a great episode, cause this one is going to be lame. To bring you up to date, our friend the peanut butter jar is in need of some treatment for his skin condition, and the Specialist has determined that the only real solution is day surgery.

In preparation for the surgery, the surgeon prepares his tools:

That’s right. A (peanut) butter knife, and I don’t know what that thing on the left is, but he’s using it as a needle to inject the anaesthetic.

Stay tuned.

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December 11, 2006 by ignatiof.

Dear Specialist,

Peanut Butter Jar recently presented with pain in his extremities and soreness on his right… uhh… flat area. I have neither the expertise nor the desire to treat a 4-lb tub of processed sandwich spread, but he does need help badly. I am afraid that the mole I found on his skin could be cancerous.

I have attached a picture of Mr. Jar to this letter. You can see for yourself how bad the damage is. I urge you to make the time to fit him into your cupboard. Sorry, I mean schedule. I’d erase that part and re-type it, but then it wouldn’t be as funny.

Warmest Regards,

Generalist

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December 11, 2006 by ignatiof.

Season 2 of the Peanut Butter show is coming soon. Set your VCRs!

Bonus points if you can figure out why the article is called ‘Lead’.

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