February 15, 2007 by ignatiof.

Last night I had this weird dream:

I found an egg on the sidewalk and when I looked up the hill where it rolled from, I found a turtle standing there camouflaged against the concrete. I gave it back the egg and walked across the street. There was another turtle across the road. I think this one was the boyfriend of the turtle with the egg. It started chasing me, and apparently was not only poisonous, but could fly. I ran like hell.

Interpretation: I will probably be chased by a poisonous flying turtle in the coming days.

Moral: Don’t screw around with a female turtle if her poisonous flying boyfriend is nearby.

Observations:

1. Yoshi could have eaten it and spit it out as fire (if it was red).

2. Am I attracted to turtles? Or are they attracted to me?

3. Did they start using cashews recently, or is that a longstanding thing?

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February 15, 2007 by ignatiof.

I should have posted this yesterday I suppose, but ah shag it, it’s still good… (oh, and this is heavily paraphrased in places.)

Angus: Any big plans for Valentine’s day?

Ignatio: Gonna stroke it to some porn.

Angus: Uhhh…

Ignatio: Oh shoot, sorry, I must have gotten me confused with you. I got a big romantic night planned with my sweetie.

Angus: (unintelligible ‘comeback’)

Ignatio: You really need a woman. Or a man… or hell, even a blow up doll.

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