April 26, 2007 by ignatiof.

If you farted into a jar would:

• Anyone hear it?
• The smell be trapped forever?

And most importantly:

• Your cheeks get sucked in? (You’d like that wouldn’t you?)

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April 23, 2007 by ignatiof.

Time for a new series. I call this one ‘Silly Signs’, mainly because it consists of signs that are silly, and because I got nothing better.

Here’s the first entry:

I saw this one next to the luggage conveyor at the local airport. Just in case you don’t know what to do with a ‘Stop Button’, this sign lets you know that you can press it. If that still doesn’t help, you can call someone to walk you through it, presuming you know how to press the buttons on a phone.

And shouldn’t that be ‘Press to Deactivate’?

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April 22, 2007 by ignatiof.

I’ve been thinking lately about getting ink done. But before I do, there are a couple of things I need to figure out. The first is where to put said tattoo. That’s a tough question. I wouldn’t want it anywhere trendy like the lower back, nor would I want it somewhere invisible. What’s the point? The other big thing is what to have done. It’s got to be something I could live with for a long damn time.

On the other hand, maybe I’ll just go do it on a whim some day with the words ‘Head On’, applied directly to the forehead.

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April 21, 2007 by ignatiof.

I hate doing housework. But I do like the house when it’s done. I wish it were like major surgery in that respect - you go in, go under, then when you wake up, it’s all over. I’d like to walk up to the kitchen sink, look at the dishes, blink a couple times, then the kitchen would be clean.

Or maybe I’ll just buy a dishwasher.

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April 15, 2007 by ignatiof.

What would I like to see in a next-generation operating system built new from the ground up?

That’s a tough question and a tall order. With so much stuff moving online these days, is a new operating system really relevant? I’m going to take the opinion that it is, and perhaps one that embraces the Internet in a new way would be compelling (and be unlike YouOS which is just a system with the familiar desktop metaphor stuffed into a browser). Here are the things I would like to see in such a system:

1. No more windows and icons - this OS would have a zoomable interface, so you just zoom in on your files and they show different representations the closer you get to ‘em. Check out this link.
2. A full revision control system built into the operating system. All changes to files are tracked as they occur.
3. A full backup system built into the operating system so users don’t need to worry about it.
4. A sophisticated file system with journaling, permissions, compression, encryption, etc., although this system would be largely invisible to users, and the folder/file metaphor would be “round filed”.
5. Applications laid out on disk *exactly* as they would be if loaded into working memory. 
6. Seamless, encrypted and simple to use remote connectivity
7. Built-in social networking - ala facebook. The OS would have to connect to a server or have built in peer-to-peer software.

I’m sure there’s more stuff. I have to give it some thought.

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April 5, 2007 by ignatiof.

A few days ago, my 5-year old nephew punched me as hard as he could right in the twig and giggle-berries. Gentlemen, I don’t need to tell you what that kind of smack feels like. For the ladies with nothing better to do than read my blog (sorry to hear you’re suicidal), let me start by saying that it’s quite painful. It’s kinda like the rapture, localized entirely within the pelvic floor. At least that’s what you think at first. Within seconds, the pain shoots through your abdomen like someone stabbing you with a rusty knife. And then twisting. Repeatedly.

But before you think that region is a liability, there can be good feelings between your legs as well. Case in point: I sometimes listen to my new cell phone/mp3 player in the car, and since I’m too lazy to plug it into the car stereo system I just use the speaker on the phone. To keep it from sliding all over the car I hold it between my thighs. Let me tell you, there is nothing like the illusion that Lisa Loeb is serenading you from inside your own pants.

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April 2, 2007 by ignatiof.

I have come to the conclusion that the N93, N95 (which, by the way, turned out to not quite meet the announced specs) and the iPhone, are not quite what I am looking for in a handheld. Until this phantom device becomes available, I settled for a Nokia 6265. It’s got some good features, and it’s hella cheaper than the N93 or N95.

I figured I’d actually write down what I’m looking for in a handheld device. It’s not quite as impressive as a Star Trek tricorder, but it’s pretty good:

• Cell phone!
• 800×600 screen (may have to fold out), 24 bit colour
• Ability to handle OpenGL or equivalent
• 60GB hard drive (or 60GB of solid state memory)
• 802.11g WiFi
• Bluetooth (of course!)
• MP3 player
• 3 MP camera with 4x optical zoom and digital camera quality decent flash
• VGA-quality video, 30fps, stereo audio
• Some sort of OS for which I can write stuff - i.e. a system that doesn’t require signed code
• GPS receiver
• USB 2.0 (duh)
• Full size keypad
• Less than 200g
• Plenty of RAM, but I don’t have a specific number in mind
• TV out
• Memory card support - Secure Digital if it can fit in the package
• A good browser that can handle video, flash, Java

There. I think that’s all. There’s probably more, but I’ll leave it there for now.

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