You are currently browsing the A Bunch Of Unrelated Things weblog archives for October, 2007.
October 31, 2007 by ignatiof.
Me brudder is participting in an event called NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), conveniently, or perhaps intentionally, in the same month that begins with the same letters as novel (November). I am not gonna do this. 50,000 words in 30 days? Negatory. I value my sanity, and I would prefer to stay in my current relationship. I’ll continue with my 50,000 word novel writing in 3000 days, thank you.
Posted in Neat Stuff, General | Print | 1 Comment »
October 27, 2007 by ignatiof.
Continuing my long running series on things I hate, here are three words that I really can’t stand:
I hate the first word because it’s just so… wishy washy. It’s like the person using it doesn’t have the cojones to say what they believe. The second word is used by someone who’s trying to sound smarter than they are. And the third word is used by someone who’s trying to sound smarter than they are.
Here are the three words I hate used in a sentence. I hate the words arguably, myriad, and utilize.
Posted in Stuff I Hate | Print | 4 Comments »
October 19, 2007 by ignatiof.
After discussing Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs in a recent article, I thought it would be useful to take a look at Maslow’s needs for felines.
The first thing to note about cat needs is that there is no hierarchy. When a cat has a need, it BECOMES THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in that cat’s life, and therefore starts to become important in your life, if for no other reason than you want to get back to spending time with your Real Doll.
Cats need each of the following things:
Posted in Stuff Like Other Stuff, General | Print | 2 Comments »
October 19, 2007 by ignatiof.
I’ve become a sweater sometime in the past couple of years. Before that I had never been a sweater. I know what you’re thinking, and no I’ve never been a t-shirt either.
Alas, I’m talking about how much I sweat. I used to be able to exercise for hours and not break much of a sweat. I could never understand how some guys’ shirts would be totally wet. Well now, I’m one of those guys. This extra layer of fat I’m carrying, while helping stave off famine, is causing me to sweat very easily. I can’t even walk from the couch to the fridge without my back turning into the Thames.
Posted in Stuff Like Other Stuff, The Chronicles of Weight Gainia, General | Print | No Comments »
October 18, 2007 by ignatiof.
I’m having a hard time keeping my cats’ weight in check. And I’m feeding them less than the recommended amounts. This clearly means that the pet food companies are recommending more food than your cat needs in a shameful attempt to increase sales. This comes at the expense of your pet’s general health.
So what do you do when your pet gets sick? That’s right, you take it to the vet, a bunch of so-called doctors that are clearly funneling money to the pet food companies. That stinks to me of conspiracy, and soggy animal diarrhea…
More on this topic later. Some dudes just arrived at my door in black helicopters.
Posted in The Chronicles of Weight Gainia, General | Print | No Comments »
October 18, 2007 by ignatiof.
Here’s a list of all the animals I can remember eating at some point in my life, in the order in which I think of them. If I weren’t so damn lazy, I’d organize them in a more socially acceptable fashion.
Posted in The Chronicles of Weight Gainia, General | Print | 1 Comment »
October 17, 2007 by ignatiof.
I strive for perfection. That is, if you define ’strive’ to mean ‘would like to have, as long as only minimal effort is required’.
This morning, I reached perfection for the first time in over two years. After my fiance used the car last night, I had to adjust the rear view mirror. And I got it in the perfect spot. The road behind me was presented in that mirror like I had remembered it in dreams. I made thousands of minor adjustments over the past few years couldn’t get it perfect. But now it is. I am in rear view mirror nirvana. It looks like I will have to buy my fiance a car of her own so she will have no reason to adjust my mirror.
(For those of you wondering why this is such a big deal, below is Maslow’s needs hierarchy, starting with the most basic.)
Posted in General | Print | 3 Comments »
October 9, 2007 by ignatiof.
Thanks to an episode of Three’s Company, everyone knows how to play Strip Poker. Well, how about strip versions of other games? The following is a list of common games and how to make strip versions of them. They are untested, though, so you’ll have to try them out to see how well they work.
Strip Monopoly: Every time someone pays $100 or more in rent, they take off one article of clothing. (Just like in the real world.)
Strip Checkers: Whenever someone takes one of your pieces, you take off something.
Strip Chess: This game does not exist. You wouldn’t want to see a chess player naked.
Strip Tic-Tac-Toe: Make sure you go first. Loser strips.
Strip Risk: See rules for Strip Chess.
Strip Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego: You have to take something off whenever you land on US America, South Africa, the Iraq, the Asian countries like such as, because many people in your country don’t have maps.
Posted in General | Print | 1 Comment »