Archive for October 18, 2007

The Vet-Pet Food Cartel

I’m having a hard time keeping my cats’ weight in check. And I’m feeding them less than the recommended amounts. This clearly means that the pet food companies are recommending more food than your cat needs in a shameful attempt to increase sales. This comes at the expense of your pet’s general health.

So what do you do when your pet gets sick? That’s right, you take it to the vet, a bunch of so-called doctors that are clearly funneling money to the pet food companies. That stinks to me of conspiracy, and soggy animal diarrhea…

More on this topic later. Some dudes just arrived at my door in black helicopters.

Meats

Here’s a list of all the animals I can remember eating at some point in my life, in the order in which I think of them. If I weren’t so damn lazy, I’d organize them in a more socially acceptable fashion.

  • Cow
  • Chicken
  • Cod
  • Pig
  • Turkey
  • Grouse
  • Quail
  • Cornish hen
  • Duck
  • Hare
  • Halibut
  • Sole
  • Salmon
  • Trout
  • Moose
  • Caribou
  • Lobster
  • Shrimp
  • Crab
  • Scallop
  • Partridge
  • Boston Blue
  • Mackerel
  • Herring
  • Tuna
  • Shark
  • Mussel
  • Emu
  • Lamb
  • Seal
  • Haddock
  • Pollock
  • Clam
  • Squid
  • Various sardine species

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