January 31, 2008 by ignatiof.

Microsoft has been given a hard time over the years for its repeated theft of other institutions’ innovations. I feel that they have not been given enough credit for the many innovations that they have made, so I have compiled a list of all Microsoft technologies that I consider to be original. Here they are, in alphabetical order:

1. Microsoft Bob (a new interface concept from the mid-90s)

There ya go. That’s the whole list.

Of course, I’m kidding. They have done more than that. Here’s the real list of Microsoft innovations:

1. Microsoft Bob
2. That annoying Office paper clip

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January 24, 2008 by ignatiof.

Paraphrasing a convo from last nite:

Friend: I am stressed about school, my family, etc, etc.
Me: Try not to let the stress get to you. Control your emotions instead of letting them control you. Use logic to get rid of destructive negative thoughts.
Me (10 mins later): Speechless?
Her: You’re usually such a goofball. I was thinking about what you said, and it makes sense. I’ll have to try it.
Me: scrotum

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January 19, 2008 by ignatiof.

Is it just me, or does Stephen Harper have a tremendous boner for Danny Williams?

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January 15, 2008 by ignatiof.

I keep a list of life goals in a plain text file on my computer. Some are small things, like I want to see the planet Mercury through the telescope at some point. No problem. I figure I can do that one. I’d also like to learn a  foreign language, but not French, cause I already know that one perfectly, je n’ai le pas?

Last night, I completed one of my life goals. It’s been on my list for twenty years since it first became a possibility.  You guessed it - I finally beat Super Mario 2. It’s been a long time coming, but when I slid that fat rotten tomato down Wart’s fugly throat for the 6th time without dying, I felt so much like I felt at any other time in my life that it made me wonder why I spent all those hours trying to finish the game.

Regardless, beating Super Mario 64 is my next goal.

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January 12, 2008 by ignatiof.

Yes, I realize it’s already January 12.
No, my resolution is not to stop procrastinating.

I believe in continuous self-improvement. Many small steps over time lead to big changes. So for this year’s resolution, I have decided to stop buying frozen groceries at the beginning of the trip to the grocery store. I figure they won’t thaw as much if I buy ‘em last.

It’s a resolution I feel that I can keep.

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January 10, 2008 by ignatiof.

This is one of my personal favourite misheard lyrics. And by personal favourite, of course, I mean it’s just one that happened to pop into my head earlier today. In the song ‘Black on Black II’ by Heart, there’s a lyric that goes like this:

‘Ice and fire counteract’

which my perverted brain keeps hearing as:

‘Ice and fire get erect’

Not sure how that would work exactly, but hey, I didn’t write the thing.

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