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April 16, 2008 by ignatiof.
I don’t suffer from constipation much. Still, I thought a bit of extra fibre in my diet wouldn’t be a bad thing. A friend of mine said he sprinkles all-bran on some of his other food as an easy way to get that bit of extra fibre.
‘That’s a good idea’, I thought. I’ll start sprinkling all-bran on everything! I started putting it on my cereal, in my peanut butter sammiches, and even in chicken soup. It works for most things I sprinkle it on, but not all. It blows off the car as soon as I pull out of my driveway, and I don’t even want to tell you the trouble I’ve had trying to comb my hair.
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November 17, 2007 by ignatiof.
A conversation with my significant other this evening:
She: What’s that you’re drinking?
Me: Jim Beam
She: Oh? With 7-up?
Me: Nope, straight.
She: Straight? Are you nuts?
Me: It’s how real men take their whiskey.
She: Do real men also take their whiskey with a cookie?
Posted in The Chronicles of Weight Gainia, Neat Stuff | Print | 3 Comments »
October 19, 2007 by ignatiof.
I’ve become a sweater sometime in the past couple of years. Before that I had never been a sweater. I know what you’re thinking, and no I’ve never been a t-shirt either.
Alas, I’m talking about how much I sweat. I used to be able to exercise for hours and not break much of a sweat. I could never understand how some guys’ shirts would be totally wet. Well now, I’m one of those guys. This extra layer of fat I’m carrying, while helping stave off famine, is causing me to sweat very easily. I can’t even walk from the couch to the fridge without my back turning into the Thames.
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October 18, 2007 by ignatiof.
I’m having a hard time keeping my cats’ weight in check. And I’m feeding them less than the recommended amounts. This clearly means that the pet food companies are recommending more food than your cat needs in a shameful attempt to increase sales. This comes at the expense of your pet’s general health.
So what do you do when your pet gets sick? That’s right, you take it to the vet, a bunch of so-called doctors that are clearly funneling money to the pet food companies. That stinks to me of conspiracy, and soggy animal diarrhea…
More on this topic later. Some dudes just arrived at my door in black helicopters.
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October 18, 2007 by ignatiof.
Here’s a list of all the animals I can remember eating at some point in my life, in the order in which I think of them. If I weren’t so damn lazy, I’d organize them in a more socially acceptable fashion.
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